Now, you gotta save yourself before it’s too late
Two years and months have gone.. it’s been ages ago since I met him, but I could still recall clearly how every details of everything went on. Relationship has its ups and downs, and it is a choice to both parties whether you work on it or just let things fall.
The beginning gave me too much butterflies in my stomach that made me wanna shout for joy that finally someone loves my imperfections and someone who understands me, who’s always there for me, who kept me from danger, and protect me when I’m too weak to face my fears.
I was blown away and yeah impressed by the effort and positive responses he exerted way back then, and I started to ask God, “Lord, why me? I hope this won’t mess up and what if like this and like that will happen..?”. I was full of questions and I starved myself with answers, answers that I am waiting to come till now.
I enjoyed the moment and I cherished the opportunity to allow myself to feel that I am special too even though I don’t think that I am.
Days rolled to nights, the time has gone by.. Until sweetness turned to bitterness, we fought to survive from the madness we’ve become.
I am a woman who turn my anger to tears because I just think that I cannot handle the wound of being extremely angry.. it’s better to cry than to hold grudges inside.
Then suddenly, everything became darker than ever and too heavy to lift the weight of the toxic feelings.
I deserted. We both chose to walk the different paths.
Like two months passed by, it’s still fresh. But heck we are not perfect, so we have to accept the reality and think maturely about it.
He once told me this:
If we are made for each other, we’re gonna find a way back. Not necessary to force things.
Then I realized what he said that yeah he’s right. He’s very good at those words because what can I say? It’s true though.
SCREW THE SHRINE
The reality is it is hard to let go, isn’t it? And the reason behind? It’s because we are still longing for that person that maybe someday you guys are going to create a new realm again making memories. It’s holding on to thing that is already dead, and that does not serve you anymore.
Throw them away. Not just the feelings, the material things too that make you reminisce the time he put on the necklace on you. Shirts, donate them. Cards, burn them. Pictures, delete them. Erase all the memories you maybe have kept inside the box.
It’s sad but you gotta do it. Have the courage to do it!
CLINCH MILE ONE
It’s normal to feel down, sad, or weary after the end of a relationship. That’s probably what everyone does. It’s fine to stay on bed the whole day and just don’t work things outdoors. It’s acceptable to whine, cry yourself to sleep, or stay until 3 in the morning if you cannot sleep thinking about what you guys could have done during the day if you’re still together. Just remember one thing, don’t settle yourself with them for long. Don’t let them be your habit that you forget you also have life to live.
STAY AWAY FROM SOCIAL MEDIA
Deactivating accounts, especially Facebook is better. I always do this whenever I feel to. It’s okay to stay away for a little while. Let them miss your posts or your presence in the chat list. Block him or unfriend him, because if you won’t then you will always come running stalking him if you miss him, and that move is not going to help you.
In case you are using password that relates to him, change it.
If social media is just your place you think you can vent on to, you’re wrong. Open your mind from the possibilities. Do not get blinded and carried away by your emotion. Go and find new friends that make you forget the pain. They’re the ones who will gonna somehow, help and save you, but the main person who will always be there is you, yourself.
LET GOD HEAR YOU
Pray. Just pray and believe that everything is going to be okay. Keep in mind that you are not gonna be permanently living with the unhealed wounds. The aftermath of break-up is temporary.
Your prayers do not need to be articulate. They are allowed to be short, imperfect, and spasmodic. God is able to recognize the mess. Always.
EXPOSE YOURSELF TO THE GYM
Make yourself better. Better than ever. One of the ways is to improve your physical well-being. Hit the gym! Exhaust your heartache. Punch the punching bag. Let your anger be your motivation to burn your fats (if you have). Work on, and stay sexy. Yes it exercises your mental health too.
When the idea of not being good enough or negative thoughts fill in your soul in the middle of the night in the unexpected moment, eliminate them. Those are lies. Our mind is powerful that it has the power to eat away our happiness. Once your mind tells you something that you’re not supposed to be thinking or feeling about, don’t listen to them. Those are toxic wastes coming from the back of your head.
BE HONEST, ALWAYS
Find friends anywhere. Talk to strangers. Don’t be afraid to open things up. Be honest to your friends about how you feel.
Don’t feel guilty for saying “NO”.
BURY YOUR FEELINGS
Feelings, like our mind.. they’re strong that it influences you to chat or text him one more chance. There are things you should avoid of, and remember things have changed. They are no longer be brought to what were they before. Accept it anyway.
SUBMERGE YOURSELF TO THINGS WORTHY
By means worthy, things are those that matter in the end. Like your school, it’s the thing you won’t regret, of course. Hmm helping people in need, it makes you to feel proud about yourself. It lift up the spirit of you that you can, too save anyone else.
Me, I chose to get a job and yeah I have spent my hours working there instead of immersing myself to cry at nights.
When you realize you can be something great without the presence of a man or when you don’t belong to a man, it’s the time that you are in the right tract of keeping yourself happy even if you are not in a relationship. Being independent is not saying you do not need anyone, but it means that you do not have to find a man who will make you feel special or loved. You are enough, and stronger than you think you are.
ENJOY THE PERKS OF BEING SINGLE
This is what I like. You can go with your friends anywhere without the consent with someone, without the rush or need to send an update about your life. Sometimes it’s hassle to fix the trouble if your partner is too clingy. One wrong move is a hell of trouble. You can stay late whenever you want to. You will have the authority to yourself and no one else will point out what you should not wear or what to wear. You are an adult already and you are not need to be told. Do your own thing. One thing I have freely enjoyed after the end of relationship is the freedom. I got to go free to the mountains, and be able to see the nature I have not seen before. Then, I breathe the fresh air after the toxic that the relationship gave me.
Free yourself, know yourself and fall in love with yourself.
Today, it justs come into my mind out of the blue that Valentine’s Day is coming, and I am not sad that I do not have anyone to date on that day. Well, there is nothing better and sweeter than dating my own self.